this is where my materialism has gotten me

there is a lot going on right now. i am learning how to - NOT depend on my own understanding {pvb. 3:5-6} which has been really difficult, because of anxiety i have all of these unanswered questions & i just need to rest & drop my worries. it has been a hard but wonderful reminder - of how i need to depend on God. my frustration comes when i am unclear of HIS will. So i am learning to consult with him & be patient & listen. (because when i don't do these things - everything is topsy turvy & unfulfilling. i am also learning how to find comfort in HIM & not in things of this world. it is difficult because i feel most comfortable when i am physically held, so this will be a learning process.

 my dad gave me a book while i was in Grand Rapids this past weekend for the day of Giving Thanks, & i am excited to get into it. Ariel & i got to page 19 on our ride over to Chi - but Ryan pointed out that it was just 7 pages...but we enjoyed the forward & intro, can't wait to dive in. book {Decision Making & the Will of God -Friesen}

these are pictures of my excitement. this AllSaints skirt is my first piece to {my style} collection. i have not been feeling like myself (which doesn't make sense because i'm not anyone else).... but a way i can express who i am is in my wardrobe - now bare with me i haven't thought about this enough to measure it's materialism & worldly value...but quality over quantity is how i am transitioning my wardrobe. i like the idea of it being passed down through generations. oh hey look at that quality = sustainable? who would have thought...

broken to be humbled

beautiful shadow on my wall

i have been a total jerk. i feel like i need to say sorry to a lot of people. i think mostly i've just been a jerk inside my head, which has been really frustrating! mean condemning thoughts have consumed me, and i just need to be honest about it. i need to be open about it for accountability purposes. im learning to ask for prayer again. tonight i was reminded to surrender, which is something i forget to do daily.

i have let my fear of the future consume me, i have yet again overlooked the fact that i have NO strength on my own. & i will not be a victim of my emotions, my worldly thinking is childish. i will not allow my anxiety to consume me. the mystery of the future is exciting & should be seen as that.

do you know that FEAR is our core emotion...
Abide abide ABIDE {accept or act in accordance with} this word is so comforting to me!
frances is beautifully embroidering this word on tea towels for a gallery show coming up, so i have been seeing the word around a bit. i love it, because i have accepted christ He has control, & there is nothing i need to worry about. i am cradled in His arms. i always long to be cradled, the thought of physical comfort is so soothing. this could be a wonderful fabric/pillow visual piece...

my lack of joy will be renewed, i know this, & i am ready for it.

i've been listening to the livingwell house podcasts a GR gem.

learning to understand coffee culture

Trying to understand coffe culture is difficult for me. our 3rd project in PD3 this semester is looking at a single cup coffee brew...i know nothing about coffee culture. ergo it makes it difficult for me to design for it...so i am doing this research & would love input. so the only way i have noticed coffee directly influencing me  is by feeding addictions & keeping people around me happy & efficient. coffee to me is grose, i am not a big girls yet, & have not acquired the taste for this ground bean water. i'm just not into it.

so learning about coffee culture inorder to design for it is obviously imperative. we are focusing specifically on one cup brews...i commend my roommate frances for grinding her own bean & french pressing them each morning. i think this is such a great solution. i'm trying to understand if we're really just so lazy that we have these prepackaged cups that we just poke into a machine for a single cup (that created unnecessary waste) & takes over more counter space. or does it taste better? do we like having other people prepare our consumables? and then we just add water? [insta coffee]

thoughts?

blustery days

note to self.......{don't let chicago harden your heart-be in the WORD & be in community} i miss my family terribly.

she is a star

dont hurt the tea leaves-shooting blind

my camera was returned to me this weekend, thank you Canon for mending my mirror. so when i have some time i'll post some fun weekend documentation. this was from ryans USGrappling tournament. the camera mirror fell out at the beginning of the day so i was shooting blind...but they turned out fun. it was really awesome to be apart of the day & hangout with the team. enjoy